Sweet Vernal Zephyr

Succinct Book Reviews
(aka Creating & Whit)

Vampire Hookers
78 minute runtime

A tale of three American sailors "on the town" in an exotic oriental port. Eddie takes on a "Luscious hooker", Terry and Tom take on too much beer and wake up in the Brigg to find Eddie is A.W.O.L.

The frantic search for Eddie leads them to an old cemetery inhabited by Vampires. The leader of the Vampires is assisted by an apprentice vampire, PAVO—a bungling idiot, in luring fresh blood for his three buxom Vampire Hookers. Our three heroes soon find that the sexy Vampire Hookers are a little horny after one-hundred-and-thirty-seven years of celibacy and now kill their victims with love. Blood is not all they suck.
My review guidelines can be found HERE.

  • 1978 Adult Horror/Comedy

  • Vampires

  • M/F
  • M/F/M
  • F/F

  • The plot takes 30 minutes to flesh out, leaving only 48 minutes to understand

  • Charlie's Angels style hot chicks

  • Hunky sailors

  • Bloody fights

  • Slightly sexually explicit scenes in granny undies

  • Camera pans away from the explicit action to focus on the orgy wall murals

  • Slow motion bed play almost makes you want to fast forward

  • The vampire apprentice is mostly incoherent and constantly farting

I thought for sure that I would have strange convoluted dreams about this movie, but it never came up. Apparently, it was just too outrageous to be sublimated in to my subconscious!

Have you seen this movie too?
Comment with your link! (at the top of this post)

Sweet nightmares...

Comment link is at the top of the post.


the title alone makes me giggle... and then to read granny panties.... well... my side is killing, lmbo.. i am going back to the bar where i have something tall, dark, and strong waiting for me...

"in granny undies"

Well if that doesn't make you just want to watch it nothing will.

A farting Vampire assistant and sexually almost-explicit granny panties? Too funny! It might be worth picking up just to laugh at it.

I have to see this movie! It sounds so awful that it must be . . . well, I guess it must be just awful, but I still want to see it!

*wonders why we're all titillated by granny undies*

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Thanks so much for delving into my head. It's scary in here sometimes, so it is nice to have company! Don't step on the zephyr...

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Fiction & Fantasy & Erotica